blustardust’s blog

It hasn't been a great week for me at all.  I have had a terrible pain in my back which seems to shoot off in different directions on different days!  For the most part it has settled in my lower back with occassional shooting pain down my leg!  I have some painkillers to help ease the pain and I know that if I can manage to lose a bit of weight it may ease my suffering a little!  Generally I have been feeling down and a bit sorry for myself and my focus is definitely not as clear as it usually is!  I have managed to muddle through the week as best as I can and haven't had much sleep either, which I know won't help my mood or general demeanour!  Oh well never mind.  Next week is another week and I must try and stay positive!

To look forward to:  hubby is taking me out tomorrow evening to a local social club where the entertainer for the evening will be doing an Elvis tribute so I should enjoy that as since I was a small girl I have always enjoyed his music, probably helped growing up with a Mum who was an Elvis fan tho!

I often wonder why we turn our heads at the moment we do, what is it that makes us change the direction we are looking in?  Is it a sound, no matter how slight, or a smell, or maybe just a sense somewhere deep within us, something that in an instant, less than a moment, tells us to turn and look in that direction?  I often find this happening to me, I am with each passing day trying to take in more and more that is happening around me.  Not of course necessarily in the usual daily hustle and bustle of a given day but when I walk my beautiful dog each morning at the local community park.  It is nothing special to look at particularly, just a park,  a green expanse for people to walk, children to play and dogs to run.  If you block out what you can see beyond the trees on days like today it can look quite beautiful!  The sun is again shining down on us so it looks as though we will have more sunshine in our early autumn than we had all summer, of course the difference being, there is a definite chill in the air now and a lighweight coat is a must!  A fairly heavy dew had settled on the grass this morning but despite slightly soggy feet I enjoyed my walk.  I often turn my head when I am walking and am usually lucky to see something beautiful or special, usually a bird of some kind or another, and our park seems to attract a fair few of them.  As I walked, listening to some beautiful music on my MP3 player I suddenly and for no apparent reason turned my head and there walking along by my side just a few small steps away from me was a beautiful little Robin Red Breast, oh how beautiful he looked and how wonderful to have such a creature so close to me especially as they are know to be quite timid and wary of people!

It is definately one of those days when you need to pause for a moment, take time and smell the flowers as the saying goes!  Everyone has their own special "flowers" and not in the literal sense!  I walk my dog every morning and whatever the weather I try to be positive and to look forward to another day and whatever it may have in store for me!  Today the sun is shining and the sky is blue, there is a chill in the air but that is only to be expected in early October in England!  To be fair this has been one of the worst summers I can ever remember (and I've seen a few!) so to see the sun shining is a treat indeed! 

We all have our own demons that we need to battle and mine for many years has been my weight!  Now most women moan and groan about their shape or weight or something!  We are never happy with what we have and I am no exeption and can of course be my own worst enemy!  However the difference between me and a lot of other women is that I really do have a problem with my weight and battle daily to control it and what I eat.  I am classed as obese and have tried through my own routines and with help from my doctor last year, to try and shed the excess but alas so far without the positive results I crave!  I walk my dog everyday which is a great form of exercise and gives me the 30 mins every day that my doctor (and most health specialists) recommended.  I have kept in the past eating diaries and eat very well (for a fat person!).  So it is indeed a myth to think that all fat people are that way because they are lazy fat slobs who sit in front of the tv (or computer) all day, eating as much junk food as they can!  I have a few health problems and have to take daily medications for these problems.  My doctor has come to the conclusion after closely monitoring me for a year and prescribing something that can help with weight loss, that the medication is the reason I carry the weight and it just won't shift!!

I want to keep a blog/online diary for myself mainly but if I find others along the way that can relate to how I feel and what I go through then it will definately be a worthwhile venture!  I may come on regularly or once in a blue moon, it really will depend how the mood takes me!  On the whole I hope to keep a regular journal to follow my highs and lows (as I know I will have!).

Today is (so far) a good day!  It started well, I had a lovely walk, enjoyed the sunshine and have been "a good girl" with my eating.  I weighed myself this morning and have lost 2lb since Monday. I am pleased with every effort I have made, and today my resolve is strong!

Springsteen's releasing a new studio album this week and Dylan's releasing a greatest hits compilation.  Which do you prefer from a legend: new material or time-honored classics?

I think a mixture of both is better, nice to reflect on successes from their heyday and the chance to enjoy the new music as well!